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Disappointment

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I’ve had a lot of disappointment in my life… not more than the average person, but enough to know what it tastes like.

And what I can tell you about it is something that you already know: it sucks. Badly.

The above pictures are from the 2011 CrossFit Regional.  They were shot immediately following the final WOD.  The WOD where I realized that for the first time in my Regional career, I would not be competing in the CrossFit Games in July.

Sure, there was a bad call in a heavy lifting WOD, which, until this day, I believe was unjust.  Then, there was my stinkin’ scoliosis that made me 12 seconds slower than the average lifter in every set of my deadlifts in the deadlift/box jump couplet.  And maybe, just maybe, if I had a better mindset, and knew that there was a possibility that I could have qualified in the final WOD, I would’ve done better in it…but I didn’t.  I gave up; surrendered in front of all of my clients, friends, and peers…all because I knew that I couldn’t win…

I looked back at the field, my judge, the crowd, the pull-up rig, and I exited toward the track….

A year plus of training…OVERwasted. OVER.  I wanted to cry.  I especially wanted to cry because Dave cried.  He was mad; also disappointed.  He felt that I had been slighted as well.  My coach, Jason, came by to apologize.  To tell me there’d be next year….That I did my best.

But at that point, I remember making a conscious decision to stop my pity party.  It had gone on for approximately twenty minutes, and that was nineteen minutes too long…

Because you see, disappointment is part of life. There is really nothing that you can do about it, so YOU”VE GOT TO GET OVER IT.

I mean REALLY get over it.  Stop dwelling on it.  The way I see it, you have two options:  brush it off as an unchangeable circumstance and just embrace that it happened and cannot be changed, or learn from it and promise to make every attempt NOT to make that same mistake again.

For me, in this case, I could not change a bad call.  They happen in any sport and, if you play long enough, every athlete is bound to get bad calls.  But the part that really bothered me, the part that was really hard for me to get over, was my pitiful, woe-is-me, performance in that final WOD.  My “poor LP”, stare at my ripped, bandaged hands, in front of people that support and look up to me, horrendous, performance.

So what do I do?

NEVER DO IT AGAIN.  Go out fighting, even if there isn’t a prayer that I can make podium, because that’s how I roll

Disappointment is part of life.  It will surface at the gym when you don’t lose the weight you wanted to lose, when you don’t get the pull-up that you wanted to get, when you don’t beat the athlete that you wanted to beat, when you don’t abstain from the cake that you knew that you should.  Similarly, it will surface in life when you don’t get the job that you want to get, the dad you think you deserved, the man that you want to date, the grade that you thought that you would, the A+, all-star child that you dreamed of, when you’re not the mom you hoped to be, or the friend that you know you could be.

You have two options:  Chalk it up to unchangeable and get over it, or learn from it and never let it happen again.

Once again, the choice is yours.

6 Responses for Disappointment

  1. Rich:
    August 08, 2013 08:58 am

    Great blog LP, one of the best. This really hits close to home for me. Between injuries, a death and other failures I have dealth with I have had some disappointing moments. I believe that by not feeling sorry for myself and overcoming these problems I have definately gotten stronger as a person. If I can’t change what has already been done, then I may as well learn from it and try not to repeat it.
    Also, I remember watching you at the 2011 regionals and seeing how you looked during the WOD you mentioned. You didn’t look totally defeated, but it was clear that you weren’t the same. I have watched a lot of competitions since then and I have never seen you look defeated again. So good job ending the pity party and fighting even harder. It is inspirational to watch someone who never quits.

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    1. LP:
      August 08, 2013 09:02 am

      Thanks for commenting, Rich! You are definitely an exemplar in this regard. In fact, your little (and by little I mean HUGE) self has been quite resilient these past two years.

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  2. Judy O:
    August 08, 2013 10:00 am

    LP- you made me tear up! I can actually feel your disappointment in your pics. Whenever I get down on myself, “I’m one of the worst runners at CF”, “I’m no athlete and never have been”, etc, I read all the words of inspiration I have posted all around me. The CF mantra written on your white board behind the counter, a quote from a previous blog you had written “Then, you’ll look around one day at what you’ve become, and realize that no one started that way, but everyone ends up that way. ..You’re surrounded by normal people doing extraordinary things, and you’re one of them.” I respect the fact that you open yourself up to us and share your stories. You could never, EVER disappoint your members. You are an inspiration. As my BFF and co-CFer always say to each other “Stay Stong. You Got This.”

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  3. Terry O:
    August 11, 2013 10:47 am

    Hi there, I have not met you but I have worked out at Shoreline and read this blog, amazing piece of writing and thank you for sharing such courage.

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    June 19, 2014 06:09 pm

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  5. September 15, 2014 06:59 am

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