A couple of years ago, the picture of me climbing rope hanging on the gym wall was posted to the CrossFit.com. The first few comments read, “A man?“, “Dude, those are pecks not t*ts”, and “CrossFit bodies are gross“.
This was not the first time that I read similar comments regarding my build on the Internet. From the bottom of my heart, I can tell you that these comments didn’t faze me in the least. Growing up, I was a stick of a human; “chicken legs” was my nickname, and people frequently interviewed me regarding my daily caloric intake. So, needless to say, to be called “a man” because of my muscles, was a mission accomplished.
It’s rare that you find a picture of me not working out where I am ill-prepared. Typically, I can spot a flash a mile away and strike a pose. Above, is a picture from a wine-tasting party that I attended on Saturday night with a few Shoreline CrossFit members. This picture was snapped before I was ready. When I viewed it on my phone, for the first time ever, I thought, “Ughhhhh….I look like a dude….Better erase this“.
It took me until today, when I performed exceptionally better at a chest-to-bar/burpee workout than expected, that I became ashamed. But not ashamed of the way that I look in this photo, but ashamed that I fell into the hype.
By “the hype”, I mean mainstream media. I turned into one of those women who preach “strong is the new skinny”, but say they’re afraid of getting bulky. I was the company that wants to do a Reebok-CrossFit photo-shoot, but say they’re limited in model choices because most CrossFit women look “scary” to “regular” girls. Momentarily, I accepted the comments that men and woman had made previously about me, as insults, instead of as compliments to my strong physique.
Well, I’m posting this picture because I want everyone to know that I’m over it. I’m sorry that I fell into the hype. I had a momentary lapse of reason. I love my body. To be honest, I loved it when it was skinny in spite of those “chicken leg” comments. I love it even more now because I know how damn hard I work for it. I know that my traps are from endless amounts of shrugs in Oly lifts. I know that my lats are from the bizillion pull-ups I’ve don’e in the past decade. My triceps stem from every last time I struggle to lock out in a muscle-up, and my pecs are from every burpee and push-up I’ve edged out to win workouts. I love the work capacity my body brags. And I really don’t care an ounce what anyone else thinks about my body…
I wish I could transfer this love to every female client that walks through the doors of a CrossFit gym. Unfortunately, I’ve tried with the small group over whom I have an extent of influence at Shoreline CrossFit, and have not always succeeded.
But as for this chick, I love my “bulk”. I’ll continue to refute the hype.
I’ll continue to thank Paul Angelini, and mean it, when he tells me, “Girl, you’re lookin’ HUGE today“. Well, thank-you, Paul.