Most Wednesday evenings, I attend Move to Heal from 6:30pm to 8pm. If you're unfamiliar with recovery meetings, they begin with a quick workout, followed by a group therapy session and there's always a great topic. Recently, one of the meeting topics was about confidence. Obviously, I can't share the details of what we discussed, but what I can share is my recent experiences with self-esteem and/or confidence issues. Something I think we've all struggled with. Luckily, I was the last person to speak, so it gave me some time to really think about some of my more "adult" insecurities. I've chosen to list 3 of them so this doesn't turn into an autobiography.
On the very top of the list is public speaking. It has literally always terrified me. I believe the term is called glossophobia and affects more than 1/2 of the population (maybe more). I won't dig into my past too much, but perhaps because English was my second language, I never considered myself a great speaker. The idea of standing in front of a group of strangers and speaking for extended periods of time always twists my stomach into knots. Even to this day, when I have to teach a few classes back-to-back, I'll have to review the workouts in advance, look at the roster and have a clear game plan, otherwise I feel a mess. Even after all these years, it's something I truly must work on.
When it comes to CrossFit, years ago, I was part of the SCF team that would compete. If you scroll through our old gym feed, you will find podium pictures of us smiling, high-fiving, and drinking protein shakes (and sometimes beers) out of trophies cups. We certainly looked confident, but behind the scenes, there were butterflies, anxiety, and 3-hour training sessions that would break us down mentally and physically. Off-season, we would train for months and months and not one competition ever felt easy. I never felt we were prepared enough....ever.
In terms of running the gym, as many of you know, I took over running Shoreline CrossFit roughly two years after being in business for over a decade. When I got the "keys," I wasn't sure if I was the man for the job. It's certainly a responsibility that weighs on me every day (mostly in a good way), but writing programming, handling the financials, and making short and long-term decisions is not something that's automatic for me. Yes, things run somewhat systematically daily, but behind the scenes it's a tremendous amount of planning and prep work and often, uncertainty. Thankfully I have a great team that puts it all together.
My point is this: from the outside looking in, it always looks easy, right? But I'd be lying to you if I said public speaking, competing, and running a small business was easy. For me, my sense of confidence only comes through preparation. But part of confidence is also knowing that I've tried my best no matter the outcome.
So, as one of your coaches, I challenge you to reflect on a few areas of your life where you don't feel super confident. It could be your relationships, fitness, family, or work-related. Then consider if you've put in the work to fix it???
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